Friday, November 22, 2013

Stopping Regrets Before They Happen.

The other night I was pondering the major questions of my life. Such as, Who am I? Why am I here? What am I going to do the rest of my life? All of these questions I do not have an answer to.
Who am I? Or more who do I want to be? 
You can label me: daughter, sister, aunt, friend, student, human being. Or you could say: I am tall, nice, quiet, loud, weird, crazy, an overthinker. None of these qualities are unique. There are many sisters, daughters, aunts, students, in the world. Girls that probably fulfill these roles better than I do.
Why am I here?
Where to begin? God, evolution, fate, destiny, a Truman show situation? What is my purpose for living, do I even get one?
What am I going to do the rest of my life?
This last question has been nagging me for the past month. I am on the verge of a major life change. In two weeks I will be done taking college classes "forever." To many they would feel jubilant, I feel crushed. I want to keep learning, there are still so many classes I want to take. Instead I will student teach and then graduate...from COLLEGE. For the lucky, you know exactly what your plan is when you graduate. Find a job with your degree, and go on from there. For me, it is not that simple. I still have no idea. My major is set in stone, but my path is not. I still think, is there a job out there I do not even know about? Is my calling still waiting patiently for me? Will I ever travel again? oh...and how about that whole relationship thing, still not happening.

The questions keep coming and I only know this.
  I have NO regrets.

All the moments that have happened in my life, I do not regret a single one. Even the ones where I got crushed. The ones where I put myself out there and "failed." Because I learned from every wrong turn, and every right turn. And I am going to keep on learning.
I learned that you cannot die from embarrassment;  to dancing in the aisles of Walmart, singing at the top of my lungs in front of 10,000 people, saying hi to that guy at the bar, or having a bad day where it just went wrong...I am still here, still breathing. I learned that I have truly remarkable friends which I can count on both of my hands who I  will know for the rest of my life. I have a family who loves me and accepts me in all my crazy, quirky ways.  I have traveled, explored, reflected. I have taken risks, but also stood on the sidelines.  At my best times, I have moved to the beat of my own drum.  All of these moments have provided insights to my questions.
These moments gave me stories, advice, and bonding time with people I love.

I may have no idea who I am, where I am going, or what life really is...but I know this.
I am Sarah, a book lover, music fiend, a dance in the kitchen gal, and a Christmas enthusiast. And I am learning every step of the way. I am terrified for my next chapter of life, but I am thrilled knowing I am laying the stones down for my path.

1 comment:

  1. Loved this Sarah! Live life with no regrets! You will do GREAT in your next chapter of life! Good luck, even though you will not need it! :)

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